This Is Not A Poker Blog
One thing our little community has always been able to do is pull together and help out in a time of crisis. VinNay has a post up about a friend who can certaintly use a little bit of that blogger magic:
A friend of mine, Jeff, has had an unfortunate Christmas. His home was destroyed by a fire on christmas morning and declared a total loss. Fortunately, he was not home at the time and no one was hurt, but he did lose his cat Maurice, along with all of his possessions. The fire was started in his tenants apartment, and quickly spread throughout the house. To make matters worse, he was just laid off from his long time manufacturing job.
Jeff is a home game poker player, and reader of many of your blogs. He is a RPG’er, and beer drinker. He is a hard-working fucker who has battled dyslexia his whole life. He’s a toker, and he only has one ball. He’s a flyers fan (I guess I can forgive him for that). He’s one of the most generous people I know. And he needs some help.
We have set up a site to help raise some money for him to help get him back on his feet. If you can give that would be great, but please do me a favor and link up the site for me.
If you’re able to contribute, no matter how much, please do. If you can’t at this time, please spread the word on.
I think it’s safe to say that excitement has reached a fever pitch:
(10:02:40 PM) DonkeyPuncher: VEGAS!
(10:02:41 PM) DonkeyPuncher: VEGAS!
(10:02:42 PM) DonkeyPuncher: VEGAS!
(10:02:42 PM) DonkeyPuncher: VEGAS!
(10:02:43 PM) DonkeyPuncher: VEGAS!
(10:02:43 PM) DonkeyPuncher: VEGAS!
(10:02:43 PM) DonkeyPuncher: VEGAS!
(10:02:44 PM) DonkeyPuncher: VEGAS!
(10:02:44 PM) DonkeyPuncher: VEGAS!
(10:02:44 PM) DonkeyPuncher: VEGAS!
(10:02:45 PM) DonkeyPuncher: VEGAS!
(10:02:45 PM) DonkeyPuncher: VEGAS!
One more day. One more freakin day. There is laundry to be done, errands to be run, and assorted general stuff to acomplish, but the end goal is simple - VEGAS BABY.
Naturally, Steve has picked up on the anticipation and has begun to snag the various Vegas-themed songs and put them in rotation. He did this especially last night, when I was in a foul mood due to everyone getting on my nerves because IT WAS NOT YET VEGAS TIME. (Sometimes that Steve, he’s such a little shit.) At any rate, Steve is not going to Vegas. No, that honor will go to Wendine (the iPhone) who, being musicless has to get herself loaded up with the necessary ingredients. Hence the item marked off the agenda this evening. I present to you the Vegas Playlist:
The inclusion of many will make complete sense (Viva Las Vegas, Luck Be A Lady, etc.); others may give you a moment of pause. In those cases, it’s typically because the song was at one point played at Centerfuge, the bar next to the MGM Grand poker room. [We've covered this before.] I’m making an assumption with the T.I., but I bet you $1 I’m right. And for others, like The Slow Descent Into Alcoholism or Take The 227th Exit… well come on.
Gold Lion? PLEASE.
Ridin’? I can’t be the only one that recalls that limo ride.
Want a copy of something? Hit me up. Oh also, I need to get my hands on “Toxic” by one Ms. Spears. Grubby? DP?
I’ve got 2,037 updates on Twitter at this moment. That’s a whole lot for someone whose earliest Tweets were about how much she disliked the whole thing. I spent some quality time boozing it up in Midtown tonight at a Tweetup, meeting new people and having some laughs. And um, some drinks. Despite my first impression of it (which was pretty much summed up as “this is dumb”) I’ve now come full circle. I love the Twitter. It’s gotten me dates, jobs, friends, endless contacts, and perhaps most importantly, keeps me in touch with my favorite degenerates throughout the day when we should all be working. Or driving. Or you know, interacting with real live people in front of us.
You want to know why I don’t blog much anymore? Check the Twitter. Go ahead, they’re unprotected now. I am the Queen of Cryptic (maybe not so much as of late, but I ain’t giving up the crown) and as a result, got really good at fitting a whole lot of emotions in 140 characters. All the catharsis that blogging provided was now immediate and oh so accessible. Plus most of you are right there; snapping it up immediately and responding with just the click of a button. It’s a continual conversation that you can check in and check out of as needed.
But there are some of you that are missing from the fray, and I’ve often wondered why. For instance, where is Dawn? Dawnie, would your life not be easier if you could just tweet your little “not so random” observations instead of having to log in to Wordpress? I know you’re addicted to the Facebook and mobile updating; think of the fun you could have with Twitter updating on the go. Get on this woman. I checked, your ID is still available.
And then there is the Rooster. Or @darooster as he is known on Twitter. So much potential here. Where are the random tweets about the women he’s running in to? The connections he’s making, the cash games he’s crushing, the wild nights about town. I know it’s all going on; I want, no NEED, to hear about it as it happens. Also, the comments that go on Facebook, like the one about me being the best wingwoman ever? That needs to be Twittered. (When in doubt, anything good about me should be put on Twitter.) I would also expect the Rooster to let loose with a random “what area code is xxx?” tweet from time to time. Sure, I’ve taken away from a bit of humor by suggesting it, but you know us. We’ll still laugh.
Where Twitter will really shine though is this coming week. Remember Otis’s excellent idea of storming the castle and the text message tree that would alert when the time was right? Remember the coordination that went in to that? All removed, with just one simple tweet. When your plane touches down this weekend and you want to know where everyone is? Sure, you know we’re at a bar, but WHICH ONE? May I suggest TwitterBerry or Twitterific? For advanced users, check in on BrightKite. When at home, I cannot recommend TweetDeck enough. The ability to group contacts is especially handy for those of us who are social networking whores. Plus it’s pretty:
So, to sum up - if you are not yet on Twitter, get on it. Had you been on Twitter already (and following me) you would have known this immediately. See? You’ll thank me this weekend. Even if you’re not going to Vegas; I guarantee you’ll want to be following the action because when we have phones and Twitter apps any comment is up for being taken out of context and blasted all over the interwebs. Just ask @JoeSpeaker.
I know this much to be true. The world is not coming to end, the earth will continue to rotate, the sun will continue to rise, and life in Austin will continue to move on. Just not with me in it. To hear my friends speak though, you’d think the above is all incorrect. It’s flattering. But truth be told, I’m starting to grow a little weary of it. Not because they love me and will miss me, oh no, never because of that. I’ll miss them. But because of where I’m going and where I’ve been and where I need to be and how it’s not going to happen here no matter how much they might want to hold on tight.
If you had told me a year ago what my life would be like today; what I would have seen and done in the past year, I would not have believed you. I would have laughed and said “OKAY” but never would have I thought any of it was true. It’s been a whole lot of fucking fun. I got a lot of things out of my system. But none of it was moving me forward.
What tends to happen in Austin is people come here for school and never leave. Sometimes it’s because they land the dream job and it just happens to be here. Sometimes it’s because they just fall in love with the place and can’t bear the thought of leaving. Mostly though it’s because you just fall in to something, or with someone, and then boom - suddenly it’s 13 years later and you’re still here and there’s really no specific reason; you just are. I would fall into that last category. Mind you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, I’d say it makes up a majority of the population in this town. For me though, while I’ve always been charmed by Austin and wooed by it’s “weirdness”, we never were a perfect match. You see I’m really a big city girl at heart. It’s how I was raised; brought up on museums and theater and sports arenas and mega rock shows. I used to always say “You can take the girl out of Houston, but you can’t take the Houston out of the girl.” I meant it in reference to why I was always looking over my shoulder in a dark parking lot. Its got a new meaning now.
Austin has changed considerably over the last two years. Condos sprouting up all over downtown; huge high-rises that leave one wondering where exactly the people are coming from to fill them, new bars replacing the standard “dive-chic” with a more urban, trendy, and hip vibe. If you’re old school “Keep Austin Weird”, you fucking hate it. Me, I’m just at home in the dive bars as I am in the new ones, but the new ones; well, a lot of people complain they’re too much like L.A. or Houston. I don’t know if you know this about me but I kinda like L.A. and as for Houston…
When I left, I swore I wasn’t coming back. Hated everything about it. It was too dirty, too big, too noisy, just too… too. But Houston has been changing also. The part of town that I used to go to every weekend for punk rock shows has changed apparently from one of the worst to now one of the most desirable neighborhoods to live in. [Something I still cannot wrap my head around, and quite frankly am going to need to actually SEE in person before I fully accept. And probably won't even then.] But more than the city; it’s me that has changed. What I want is different. I want to live on my own again, in some awesome loft where I can walk to the ballpark. I want a city with a ballpark. I want season tickets. I want a change. I want a different life than the one I’ve been living. It will be nearly impossible to come by if I stay here, because nothing will change. I don’t pretend that it is going to be all lighthearted and easy. I am leaving behind the lifestyle I’ve been living for a while now and there will be times it’ll hurt. But I know it’s for the best.
As for my people - I am so lucky to have a handful of very good friends. Two of them live in California. One in Chicago. Two in Austin. Of those, one is moving to Korea in two months. Of the remaining one, her family lives in Houston so I know I’ll be seeing her often. For my other friends here, the ones who worry I’ll never see them again and wrinkle up their noses when I say I’m moving to Houston; well, again, it’s so nice to be so loved. They don’t believe I’m coming back. I assure them I’m here in January for the Spin Alley release. Maybe I don’t come back in February. But March is SXSW and the hotels are long since booked, so yes, not only will I be back but which one of you is putting me up for a week? I have family in Austin. I never see them. My parents still live in the suburbs of Houston, in the same house I grew up in. I’ll be seeing them often. Probably start drinking more too.
I will miss you Austin. It’s going to be weird not crawling your streets every Friday and Saturday night. [and often Thursday, and Wednesday, sometimes Tuesday... maybe Monday] But it’ll be a good weird. And I’ll have work to keep me busy. Maybe start playing that online poker all the kids are talking about… And you’ll be just up the road; we will see each other often. I promise.
For now, I have to finish my packing. My father informed me last night as I was on my way to a party that my mother has a meeting at UT Saturday and as such he was planning to move everything that day. I had just one little problem. Saturday night. I still need to be in Austin. But as my things will already be moved; I’ll be on my own with finding a place to sleep that night and primp the next day. There are a number of routes I could take; some I’m tempted to just for the havoc they’d wreck.
A fitting end.
I need a new bank account. I love me a credit union, and it’s where I’ve been keeping my money for the past few years, taking advantage of my Longhorn student (then alumni) status and stashing it away at the University credit union. Fantastic for when you’re living in Austin. I’ve got a branch all around me in my current location. But once you leave Austin? Not so much. And I hate paying ATM fees.
So I’m going to need something more accessible. Something a wee bit more global. But maybe something still Texan. Maybe even something Longhorn… Thinking about this earlier today suddenly all those Bank of America advertisements in the alumni magazine paid off and I recalled their “MyExpression Banking” program. Longhorn checks, check card, heck even a Longhorn AMEX! The perfect solution. Off I went to check it out.
I hit the website, told it what state I was in, and got this:
Well. At least it wasn’t Oklahoma. Or Tech.
Might want to look at diverting some of that advertising budget over to the web guys BoA.
Just the other night at one of our girl’s night happy hours (that one that ended up going all night in fact) I was telling W that I never run in to anyone I know in this town. That was before my friend Kevin walked out of the bar of course; but I don’t count that - he’s always there. I’m talking about the random run-into, the one with the person you haven’t seen in years or the person you know but just never see out - that kind of thing.
When I was married, I lived in the same apartment in North Austin for seven years. My husband’s first ex-wife (#1) moved down the street from us and lived there for about a year. Her mother moved about a mile away from us. Then #1 moved, but only about 3 miles away. Her sister lived down the street from her. All told we were in a five-mile radius of each other, along with movie theaters, grocery stores, restaurants, coffee shops, gas stations… all the hallmarks of civilization. Never once in all those years did I run in to any of them. The ex did all the time.
I mean it’s not like I’m not social. God knows. I’m getting grief right now for having too many all-nighters while at the same time being complimented on my ability to speak to anyone. But for whatever reason in the grand footprints of human traffic mine just don’t cross with other people I know. [Unless we're at a music festival and you're Ruhmann] So when they point to this “always run in to people I know” as a reason why Austin is just the shit and better than every other place in the world, I always come back with “it doesn’t happen to me.” I may go to a show and know someone there - either the band or the promoter or the guy running the club or (God bless ‘em) the bartender - but that’s not a random encounter. That’s me knowing you’re gonna be there because you’re working an event.
Last night though, the city proved me wrong. Just outside the Dirty Dog on the way in to see the band, I spied a familiar face in the crowd on 6th. A former coworker that I hadn’t seen in years; I called out what I was pretty sure was his name, and sure enough he turned around and smiled. We chatted for a bit, caught up on others we used to work with and what was new with each other. We exchanged numbers so we could keep in touch, wished each other a fun night, and parted ways. Awesome, right? Reconnecting with an old friend, gonna keep in touch, all great. Right?
Fast forward to about 2:30am. Incoming text message. You’ll never guess who from. “Didya have fun tonight?” Hmm… now call me a cynic but in my experience texts sent after midnight are rarely for innocent purposes. I reply back that yes, I did, but sadly did not get to see all the people I was hoping to. “Where are you now?” I’m asked. Uh huh. Now see, here’s where I start to get disappointed. Earlier I had run in to an old friend! It was so great! Yay! Now it’s gonna take a turn, I can feel it. I even give him a way out in my response, making it perfectly clear that I have no intentions of doing anything more that evening than going straight.to.bed. Nope, not gonna save this. “Can I come over?”
Oh Austin. Just love you so much.
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Long story short, at the end of October it was looking very much like I would be living in California right about now for a job. Wonderful… mostly. I mean yes, great opportunity, and we know I love California and the people I know in it, but good Lord have I never heard such complaining about me leaving Austin. Which don’t get me wrong is extremely flattering, but after a while starts to make the whole thing pretty hard and really makes you question every decision you have to make in life (which, for someone who can’t even decide what shot to order at the bar is not a good thing).
Obviously, I am still in the great state of Texas at this moment (you’d have heard otherwise by now if not). Things fell through; we move on. And I apparently move out. This sweet little deal I’ve had going on here with what may be the cheapest rent in Austin had been quickly snapped up the very second the mere mention of my planned move was made. Well that’s all well and good… but when I’m no longer moving - then what happens?
Well what would you do as the homeowner and BFF in this situation? The general opinion (unless you’re my mother apparently, who has always put Roomie on such a pedestal that only someone who didn’t actually live with him is capable of doing) is that you’d tell the Other that sorry, she’d just have to stay in her current place - that everything returns to as it was. I stay here, she stays there, and we all go on about out merry way. Roomie, however, chose to do otherwise.
You see, when I quit the soulless miserable job it was with the understanding that it was likely going to take a while for me to find another one. But I wouldn’t have to jump into just another one like it for the sake of a paycheck - I had a home that I could stay in for as long as I needed. I was taken care of. A very lucky woman with a very good friend. Sadly, I don’t feel like I can say that last part anymore.
It’s not about a hash-mark list of who’s done what for each other, it comes down to when it was really needed, when the world fell apart, I was taken out for drinks, but the call was never made that said “Hey… so here’s what’s happening. I know it sucks for you too, but I can’t very well kick her out.” Instead, he decided to do just that.
[Look, another example of me counting on someone, letting someone take care of me and it completely blows up when they fail me! Lesson - you can never trust someone else! Better to just sail the seas on your own. And you wonder why I pick men who I know are eventually going to do wrong somewhere down the line... it doesn't take a PhD for this folks. Just a little chat with my parents really. Especially after mom's had some wine.]
I have a week left. You can’t very well rent an apartment without a job. Again, I am a very lucky woman. Again, with some very good friends. I’ve had some offer to kick out their current roommates just so that I could move in. It won’t be necessary, but I was touched all the same. [Most of all I think by finding that there was always room for me at The Dome - that one actually made me cry.]
Maybe I’m being irrational? I just go to what I would do in his shoes, and it isn’t what he did. Surely that’s not to high a standard to hold your friends to. Especially those you hold in highest regard.
“We have got to quit going to bed after 5am.”
-Me, about an hour ago
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Sometimes I wonder why we broke up. Why I left you. Why I turned my back on you, swore I’d never be back. For a very long time it was true. I made a new life, found comfort with others, and didn’t need you anymore. The old familiar haunts, the routines, the pieces of my life I’d thought I wouldn’t be able to live without; all faded into memories.
You changed though. I didn’t even recognize you at times. What used to be so comfortable and easy was now foreign and… new. I started to see you in a different light. I sometimes wondered what it would be like; you and me together again. We toyed with the idea briefly one summer, but I ended up leaving you again. It was the comfortable option.
That comfort is gone now though, and I’ve also begun to see how much we’ve both grown. I want different things now. I think you’re better suited to give them to me.
Guess we’re gonna find out.
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